Amy: ...and then there's this "Go Green!" stuff people say. What's that even about? Like, pick up garbage? Not me. That's dirty. OH! HAVE YOU HEARD OF SAVE THE WHAAAAALES?! D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!
(Amy here bursts into uncontrollable laughter. She's crying and shaking from laughing so hard. She can barely breathe as the following goes on, and every response we give makes her laugh even harder)
Mom: Yeah, Save the Whales.
Amy: D'AAAAAAAAA! Save the WHALE Day! What is that, even? I EVEN SEEN CELEBRITIES TWEET IT!!!! SAVE THE WHALESSSS! What is it even about?
Cory: Saving whales.
Amy: HAHAHAHAHAA! OHHHH! Like, what is it, like, "Oh, here's a whale let's SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVEEEEEEEEEEEE IT! HAHAHAHAH!"
Cory: I don't get what's so funny about it.
Amy: Why does the whale even need to be saved? And why don't people just save it. All the celebrities are are, like, "don't throw garbage on the beach" and "pick up garbage on the beach." Why don't they just go save the whale themselves. Picking up garbage isn't saving some whale! SAVE THE WHALE! WHY DO THEY CALL IT THAT?! IT'S SOOOOO FUNNY! SAVE THE WHALE!
Mom: It's to prevent endangered species of whales from going extinct due to poaching and whaling.
Amy: Extinct? Then it doesn't even matter. That means they are already all dead, right? So you can't save the whale. SAVE THE WHAAAALE!
She leaves the kitchen to go watch TV, but a moment later sticks her head around the corner and looks and me and says, "Oh, yeah, and there's Shark Week. Whatever that is." Then leaves again.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Party!
Amy: There's lots of nowaday stuff that I don't know. Like politics. I don't care how much you try to tell me, I'll just never know. I go to parties lots, but I never know if they're liberal or not. I just party regular. That's my politics.
Charities
Amy: You know what I don't understand? How do charities make money? Like, for the Terry Fox Run. I go run around one day, and people get money?! Where does the money come from? How do you make money by running for charity? I don't make money every time I run, so how does charities get money when I run?
Mom: (laughing hysterically) Cory, explain it to her. I can't... I'm laughing too much.
Amy: No, you just don't know, either. See? I'm not the only one who doesn't know.
Mom (upon settling down a bit): Do you know what pledges are?
Amy: YEAH! I PLEDGE ALLIGIES TO THE LEAF OF LEAFS OR SOMETHING!
Mom and I: ...Never mind.
Mom: (laughing hysterically) Cory, explain it to her. I can't... I'm laughing too much.
Amy: No, you just don't know, either. See? I'm not the only one who doesn't know.
Mom (upon settling down a bit): Do you know what pledges are?
Amy: YEAH! I PLEDGE ALLIGIES TO THE LEAF OF LEAFS OR SOMETHING!
Mom and I: ...Never mind.
Definition of History
Amy: I hate olden day stuff. It's all "You're a traitor, and you stole my land." There's nothing else. It's so boring and it doesn't even matter anymore.
More Hitler Talk
Amy: So what was Hitler anyways? I thought he was just a "Saddam Husame" somewhere else...
Amy: Do you think there are still Nazis? Or even Nazi lovers?
Cory: Are you serious?
Amy: Yeah, do you think some nazis stayed alive and have nazi kids?
Cory: Yes, of course! How do you not know this?!
Amy: REALLY?! So is Hitler still alive?
Amy: When was all this "Hitler-stuff" popular?
Cory: Popular isn't the best word choice. It has positive connotations.
Amy: Whatever, but, like, when did it happen? I'm going to look it up.
Cory: No! Guess first! I want to hear what you think. You've given me so much content for the blog already. Don't stop now. Just try and make an educated guess.
Amy: I can't.
Cory: Just try.
Amy: K, well I think it was olden days with black-and-white TV. So mom was born in 1950...(1957 is the correct date), and she had to get a colour TV, or even an olden day TV when she was born, so....befooooore mom was born? So...19..1980?! Was it 1980?
Cory: Mom was born around 1980?
Amy: I don't know, was she? Wait! I mean, 1880!
Cory: Mom was born around 1880 now?
Amy: I'm just going to look it up. (several seconds later) I WAS RIGHT! I LOOKED UP HITLER AND IT SAYS HE WAS BORN 1889! So...how old is that....? K, wait. I can figure this out easy! Your birthday is in 1988, so Hitler was born....ONE THOUSAND YEARS AGO!
Cory: WHAT?!
Amy: K, I can't do math.
Cory: Obviously not.
Amy: Oh, wait! I messed up! I mean one thousand and one years ago!
Cory: Nope, you're further from the mark there.
Amy: It says here Hitler led Germany in World War II. Did you know that? Geez, how many World Wars were there? I don't even know what a World War is. Grandpa was in a war once, right? Was it a World War?
Cory: Yeah.
Amy: So he knew Hitler?!
Cory: No.
Amy: As if some people learn about Hitler in school...
Cory: What do you mean "as if?"
Amy: I mean, he's a bad guy, right? Why are they teaching kids about bad people? Hey! Does that mean all the new kids have to learn about "Sam Husame?" I mean, "Sackam Hudame." Ugh, I don't know his name. Never mind.
Amy: Do you think there are still Nazis? Or even Nazi lovers?
Cory: Are you serious?
Amy: Yeah, do you think some nazis stayed alive and have nazi kids?
Cory: Yes, of course! How do you not know this?!
Amy: REALLY?! So is Hitler still alive?
Amy: When was all this "Hitler-stuff" popular?
Cory: Popular isn't the best word choice. It has positive connotations.
Amy: Whatever, but, like, when did it happen? I'm going to look it up.
Cory: No! Guess first! I want to hear what you think. You've given me so much content for the blog already. Don't stop now. Just try and make an educated guess.
Amy: I can't.
Cory: Just try.
Amy: K, well I think it was olden days with black-and-white TV. So mom was born in 1950...(1957 is the correct date), and she had to get a colour TV, or even an olden day TV when she was born, so....befooooore mom was born? So...19..1980?! Was it 1980?
Cory: Mom was born around 1980?
Amy: I don't know, was she? Wait! I mean, 1880!
Cory: Mom was born around 1880 now?
Amy: I'm just going to look it up. (several seconds later) I WAS RIGHT! I LOOKED UP HITLER AND IT SAYS HE WAS BORN 1889! So...how old is that....? K, wait. I can figure this out easy! Your birthday is in 1988, so Hitler was born....ONE THOUSAND YEARS AGO!
Cory: WHAT?!
Amy: K, I can't do math.
Cory: Obviously not.
Amy: Oh, wait! I messed up! I mean one thousand and one years ago!
Cory: Nope, you're further from the mark there.
Amy: It says here Hitler led Germany in World War II. Did you know that? Geez, how many World Wars were there? I don't even know what a World War is. Grandpa was in a war once, right? Was it a World War?
Cory: Yeah.
Amy: So he knew Hitler?!
Cory: No.
Amy: As if some people learn about Hitler in school...
Cory: What do you mean "as if?"
Amy: I mean, he's a bad guy, right? Why are they teaching kids about bad people? Hey! Does that mean all the new kids have to learn about "Sam Husame?" I mean, "Sackam Hudame." Ugh, I don't know his name. Never mind.
Schindler's List
On the topic of the film Shindler's List:
Amy: Is that an old movie? Like, was it made in the 1900's or not?
Cory: Yeah, it was made in the 1900's...
Amy: Good, 'cause I don't even want to talk about black-and-white movies. They're so old.
Cory: Movies were black-and-white for half the 1900's you know.
Amy: K, well, I mean, like recent 1990's. Like 1990's.
Cory: Schindler's List was made in the 1990's and it's black-and-white.
Amy: Why would they even do that if they have better cameras? So people would think it looked old? That's dumb. I think I saw that movie. Was it about Hitler or something? I only remember one part: there were a line of guys with snow man hats like top hats on and the had nazi signs on their jackets, pins or something, and I think they had overalls, but it was olden days, so everyone had overalls, so I don't know, and they were in a line and getting whipped and having water sprayed on them, and they're all singing some Hitler song in another language. It wasn't a good movie.
Amy: Is that an old movie? Like, was it made in the 1900's or not?
Cory: Yeah, it was made in the 1900's...
Amy: Good, 'cause I don't even want to talk about black-and-white movies. They're so old.
Cory: Movies were black-and-white for half the 1900's you know.
Amy: K, well, I mean, like recent 1990's. Like 1990's.
Cory: Schindler's List was made in the 1990's and it's black-and-white.
Amy: Why would they even do that if they have better cameras? So people would think it looked old? That's dumb. I think I saw that movie. Was it about Hitler or something? I only remember one part: there were a line of guys with snow man hats like top hats on and the had nazi signs on their jackets, pins or something, and I think they had overalls, but it was olden days, so everyone had overalls, so I don't know, and they were in a line and getting whipped and having water sprayed on them, and they're all singing some Hitler song in another language. It wasn't a good movie.
Documentaries - Back in the '77's
Amy: I don't like documentaries, but I still want to watch them because they're scary.
Cory: They're scary? I think that depends on the documentary.
Amy: No, they're all about ghosts. I seen them on 20/20 and other TV shows. There's always this old guy usually in a rocking chair in front of an old house, and he's all leaning back and he says: (she does this in her 'old man voice' which includes a southern twang to it) "Back in '77's, this house was haunted in 1995." or something like that. And then it's all scary stuff about ghosts and how he's haunted.
Cory: They're scary? I think that depends on the documentary.
Amy: No, they're all about ghosts. I seen them on 20/20 and other TV shows. There's always this old guy usually in a rocking chair in front of an old house, and he's all leaning back and he says: (she does this in her 'old man voice' which includes a southern twang to it) "Back in '77's, this house was haunted in 1995." or something like that. And then it's all scary stuff about ghosts and how he's haunted.
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