Carbon Monoxide

When discussing carbon monoxide, its dangers, and the detectors used to avoid those dangers, the following questions and comments are made by Amy:

"Is that gas popular?...Like, I mean, does it spill in lots of people's houses?"

"If we're gonna die, why don't people just put it in their face? Like, if you're going to die, why not breathe it in lots in your face and just sleep? A little headache is better than being shot, right? Like, I'd rather have a deathly death than a painful one, you know?"

"How come everyone who suicides themselves doesn't just use carbon monoxide? It's easy and you just go to sleep, so you don't have to be scared and try to do it. And there's no blood, so it's easier to clean up after."

"So, how do you even get carbon monoxide? You can't catch it from other people, right? And how do you which kind of carbon monoxide is the deadly kind?"

"Eating" Oranges

I was eating lunch in the kitchen when Amy walked into the kitchen, grabbed an orange, and sat down at the table. After peeling it, she takes a slice and puts it in her mouth. About 30 seconds later, I hear a splat. I look up from my plate and ask, "what was that?"

Amy: What was what?

Me: I thought I heard something hit the floor. Something did! Look! Echo (the dog) is eating something! Are you feeding her? Don't do that!

Amy: I'm not!

I go back to eating and a minute later I see Amy whip her head sideways and make a grotesque spitting sound; a chewed up piece of orange flies from her mouth and lands with a splat on the kitchen floor.

Me: Did you just spit out a piece of orange?!

Amy: No....BWAAHAHAHAHAHA YEAHH!!

Me: Why? Don't do that! Just eat it normally!

Amy: That is how I eat it normally!

Me: You chew it up and spit it out for Echo to eat?

Amy: Yeah.

Me: Why?!

Amy: 'Cause I only like the juicy part. I chew it up until there's no more juice flavour left, then I spit it out. Echo likes to eat the gross part.

Me: Echo likes to eat anything, but that doesn't matter! You're wasting so much of the orange!

Amy: I'm only wasting the gross part.

Me:Wait...have you always eaten oranges like this? For your whole life?

Amy: Yeah, it's how I normally eat them. Except when I'm at other peoples' houses, or when people are looking at me. Then I have to chew it extra much and just force it down because otherwise they'll see.

Me: So you know it's weird, then, right? Chewing up oranges, then spitting them onto the floor and having the dog eat your chewed up food?

Amy: Only for other people.

What's weirder: Marrying a dog? Or singing about it?

I was eating at the kitchen table. The family dog, Echo, was hovering around, hoping that some food might come her way, accidentally or intentionally. Amy walks into the kitchen and immediately goes to Echo and starts singing and half-dancing, pointing at the dog.

Amy (singing): Echooooo! Won't you be my bride! Let's get married! Oh, EchoooOOOooo, be my briiiiiiiide!

Me: *staring in confusion*

Amy (looks at me): What? I'm just pretending to be in a musical!

She continues singing about eloping with our dog. Pretending to be in a musical is one thing, but making that musical about marrying a dog is beyond ridiculous.

Train of Thought

Amy was rambling on and on and something or another when she got distracted (not an uncommon thing).

Amy: And then.....uhhh....Then I.....um. I just lost my thought of train. No, wait. That's not right. I...lost my...thought....of train....my train thought...I can't remember the saying. You know, the one Mom always says when she forgets what she was saying. Oh! I lost my thought of train! No, wait...is that what I said before? I think it is...Whatever, I don't even know what I was saying anyways.

Me: It had something to do with trains.

Amy: Yeah! No, I meant before.

Me: I know.

Text-to-Speech

Amy walks up to me and holds her phone out. From the phone, a monotone voice greets me by name and states that I'm a "loser brother" or something. Amy bursts out laughing.

Amy: Isn't that cool?

Me: That your phone has text-to-speech?

Amy: No, that I can type something, and it will say it out loud.

Me: Yeah, text-to-speech.

Amy: I don't know what that is.

Me: It's not a fancy term or anything. I don't think there could be a clearer name.

Amy: Whatever.

She DOES Belong in a Circus...

Amy comes up to me with two oranges and states: "Did you know you can juggle better when you're singing the circus music? Watch."

She then attempts to juggle the two oranges with one hand while "singing" the Entrance of the Gladiators. The oranges remain aloft for short time before plopping on to the ground.

Amy: No! really! It works!

And so she continues to fail at juggling for some time longer, the whole time doing a horrible imitation of the song over and over.

Humble Beginnings?

Amy and I were browsing old music videos from when I was in elementary and junior high. We came across an Nsync video, and after watching a minute or so, Amy exclaims "HEY! IT'S JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!"

Me: Yeah?

Amy: Hey...do you think that's how he got famous? 'Cause this is old and he doesn't do this anymore, but you don't see the other guys nowadays, right?

Me: Are you serious? This is going on the blog right now.

Amy: No, but really: I bet this is how he got famous before people knew of him.