Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Life as a musical

My sister enjoys singing. She also enjoys herself singing. This involves recording herself and playing it back to listen to herself. Her narcissism (which includes ample vanity proven by her attraction to and distraction by reflective surfaces) is mere backstory for this post, and I'm certain you'll see more of it in future posts.

The trouble is that she sings at inappropriate times. Mostly at inappropriate times, it seems to me. If life were truly a musical, perhaps it wouldn't appear so random and socially awkward. Of course, she'd also have to sing songs relevant to the action or dialogue prior. Amy, instead, sings whatever comes to mind.

Her love of her voice also results in her singing unnaturally loud, to the point of it being little more than shouted rhymes.



This story begins at the supper table. My family doesn't often eat together, but this was one of those rare times (a lot of my stories involve my sister and another family member because I don't hang out with her any more than I have to). I was explaining something to my mom, and she was confused and asked what I meant. Then, whether or not she understood, Amy decided to mock my mother's confusion by saying:

Amy: "What are you, retarded? GOD BLESS THE USA!"

The amazing part was how quickly she lost track of what she was doing. The first 4 words came out with disgust and mockery, then without so much as a moment's pause she shouted (yes, shouted...it was barely sung) the last 4 words. I put a question mark to differentiate between the clauses and so that the inflection she put on the first portion sounded like a question, although there was no punctuation in reality. It came out as one sentence, just with a 180-degree turn in her tone (and content).

Even more hilarious is that she decided to question my mom's mental capacity, and ended up provinh how little her own was.

There was no comeback or anything in this case. Our silence and flabbergasted looks were enough for her to know she did something stupid. She reflected for a moment, then burst out laughing.

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